Maya is hiding
from family violence
A report of child abuse, neglect,
or family violence is made
nearly every MINUTE in Australia.
Maya* grew up in a family with so much violence and dysfunction that she and her mother fled their home. But arriving in a new neighbourhood wasn’t an instant solution to their problems.
Maya* had troubling memories of the violence. When her father was abusive to her mother, she’d run and hide in the wardrobe. It was very dark. She would close her eyes and cover her ears to shut out the screaming and yelling.
Sometimes her mum, Yasmina*, would give her a doll to hug and ask her to stay quiet. Maya had to try not to cry or make a sound. She was afraid of the dark, but more terrified of what might happen if her father came for her next.
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If children do not receive the specialist care they need to heal their trauma, the world can seem very scary and unpredictable, making it hard to develop into stable, healthy adults.
Our team first met Maya when she was five and living in temporary accommodation.
From the beginning, it was clear that Maya and her mother shared a strong bond. During activities, Maya would cling to her mother. She didn’t want to play with the other children in the group. When our staff tried to talk to her, she would bury her face in her mother’s clothes. If another child tried to take her doll she would cry.
Yasmina was a loving parent. She would stroke Maya’s hair and lovingly reassure her that everything was alright, but Maya had so many overwhelming feelings inside her.
They both needed specialist therapy to understand their experiences and learn to feel safe again. The group leader introduced them to attunement therapies – activities designed to help them relax and increase their bond.
They drew pictures of themselves doing happy things like walking in the park.
They played sensory games to hep them focus on the pleasant feelings in the present, instead of focusing on the trauma of the past. When they returned home after a session, Yasmina and Maya would lay on their bed and talk about what they had seen and heard, just as the therapist had asked.
Sometimes they would practice the activities that made them happy. It was homework that made them feel even more connected to each other and keen to return to the Foundation.
As the weeks went by, our therapists saw Maya’s walls of silence start to fall. After a while, Yasmina talked about the stigma and shame associated with family violence. She said she was so grateful for the group.
At last, she and Maya knew that they weren’t alone in their experiences.
Maya was surprised to hear she wasn’t the only one afraid of the dark. Even some of the other mums were a bit scared too. A few of her new friends hugged their toys at night as well.
Giving children and parents the confidence to talk about their experiences of trauma is slow, challenging work for our therapy teams, but it is an essential first step on the path to healing.
These are not numbers we can tolerate. The impact of such trauma reverberates across all ages. The intensity of trauma from childhood abuse can come flooding back in response to events and experiences that occur in everyday life.
Thank you for stepping up for children and making a difference.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of children. Thank you for your understanding and support. If you, or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000. For confidential support regarding family violence, call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). To report concerns relating to a child, please contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.